


An Ineffable Journey through Art

by darthhellokitty



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Art History, Gen, crowley trollling aziraphale, ineffable art, ineffable friends, pictures don't lie, pictures of aziraphale, still more pictures of aziraphale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 06:41:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20484545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthhellokitty/pseuds/darthhellokitty
Summary: A demon teases an angel by finding embarrassing pictures from his past.Inspired by my previous fic, Aziraphale did WHAT?I couldn't stop finding funny angel pictures, and neither could Crowley.Ineffable friends, possible ineffable husbands in the future if you squint.Please, please, links: work.





	An Ineffable Journey through Art

Crowley prowled restlessly through the bookshop, idly looking for entertainment. And, oh, was their entertainment to be had.

“Look Angel! A whole book all about you!” Crowley laughed. “Some of these pictures are classic!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Aziraphale sighed. Crowley was always trying to troll him with embarrassing pictures from the internet. No doubt this would be as easily forgotten as all the others.

Crowley brought [“Exploring the Heavenly History of Angels in Art”](https://mymodernmet.com/angel-art-history/) (a very fancy, colorful volume, suitable for coffee tables) to Aziraphale’s office table, where the angel was having tea. 

“Check this one out.” The demon tapped his finger on a picture.

<https://imgur.com/TtlxFQq>

“That’s not me. That’s Michael.”

“They’ve really let themselves go since then.” Crowley brightened up. “But this one! This one is YOUUUU. Look at the flowers on your head!”

<https://imgur.com/viaJ46Y>

Aziraphale huffed. “They’ve taken that completely out of context. It was a spring dance. See the musical notes? And the nun singing?”

“You’ve still got flowers on your head. Ooh, I’m going to make you a flower crown, yes I am! But THIS! THIS!” Crowley choked on the giggles.

<https://imgur.com/W75l7ty>

“Well, I had to get into a different form for that one. It’s meant to be very reverent, very sweet.”

“YOU DON’T HOLD A BABY LIKE THAT! You’re not even supporting the Christ Child’s head!”

“That is the Incarnation of the Word of God. He could hold his head up from birth.”

“Look here, look at you smirking, with a great bloody rainbow flag as a cape. Mary doesn’t look too happy. Because she knows you’re not going to hold the baby properly!”

<https://imgur.com/cx8q7zI>

“I was PASSING ON A MESSAGE. I had to get her ATTENTION.”

“Oh, you’ve got her attention all right. Oh, wow. Your hair looks really nice here. You’re giving the Christ Child a guitar lesson?”

<https://imgur.com/a/ISfUzkW>

“We were playing Him a lullaby, so His mother could take a nap.”

“You’d think He could just go to sleep by Himself, if He could hold his head up from birth. Oh, but THIS one! THIS one! You’re a lot of little babies flying around while everyone else has sex in the water!”

<https://imgur.com/KZRs6xT>

Aziraphale sighed. “Oh. That. The painter had been eating mushrooms all day. And not the tasty ones. Oh, here’s the one Keith Haring did. I think he captured me nicely. I was having such a lovely time that evening. Dancing.”

<https://imgur.com/NXeFHFy>

“I have a feeling that wasn’t the gavotte, Angel.” Crowley put the book aside, magicking an oversized iPad into his hands. “Now what the hell is going on HERE?”

<https://imgur.com/Od20Hjt>

“That is St. Theresa. I was… trying to wake her up.” Aziraphale was desperately attempting to appear dignified.

“I wouldn’t mind waking up that way sometime. Now, this one. WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS UNHOLY WERE YOU DOING WITH SAINT FRANCIS?”

<https://imgur.com/gjxkf2K>

“I. Ah. I think that’s another one where I’m waking someone up.”

“You do that a lot, apparently. And giving people messages. Look, you’re talking to Mary again.”

<https://imgur.com/4uJu9g4>

“She needed a lot of reassurance. I thought some flowers might cheer her up.”

“And then this one… wait, that isn’t you, is it?”

<https://imgur.com/2LNvNLI>

“That one’s Gabriel.”

“Of course. I should recognize the complete lack of a sense of humor.” Crowley smiled at his next find. “Look, this guy’s showing you there isn’t a reservation!”

<https://imgur.com/OMMrpyf>

“And Upstairs wouldn’t let me miracle one up, either. I don’t know why. Part of the Plan, I suppose.”

“Bloody sadistic plan that, making some underage girl give birth in a barn. I guess the cows were called into service as midwives. Wait, what’s going on here, besides another flower crown? You’ve positively fluorescent!”

<https://imgur.com/nuR7Uyj>

“I was telling the shepherds not to be afraid.”

“That wasn’t the right form for telling anybody not to be afraid.”

“That was the form I was supposed to use. It was very… attention-getting.”

“And here you are, ordering drinks at a bar.”

<https://imgur.com/9Kt0M9J>

Aziraphale looked vaguely embarrassed. “What’s wrong with ordering drinks at a bar? You seem happy enough when I do it.”

“All that topiary, too. I bet I could make my plants do topiary. Who puts that much topiary into a picture of an angel?”

“Leonardo da Vinci. He loved topiary.”

“And other things, or so I’ve heard. And here’s another one in the endless series of you giving flowers to this poor girl. She looks like she has a headache.”

<https://imgur.com/AYl5fCt>

“She had a hard time of it. Flowers made her happy, so I brought her flowers a lot. It was all I could think of at the time.”

“Wait, is this an upskirt? THIS IS PRACTICALLY AN UPSKIRT!”

<https://imgur.com/7axr6C3>

“That isn’t an upskirt!” Aziraphale cried in horror. “I was flying really fast! I had to be somewhere else. Terrible, because I completely missed my chance to pet the little dog.”

“I know an upskirt when I see one. And here we have a fire drill in Heaven.”

<https://imgur.com/v8eV3bX>

“That isn’t… I don’t really remember WHAT was going on in that one. But I don’t think it was a fire drill. Why would Heaven need a fire drill?”

“Beats me. And here you are… ordering at a bar again!”

<https://imgur.com/7cVlESM>

“That wasn’t a bar order. It was a restaurant. Which… isn’t a bad idea at the moment, is it?”

“You just don’t want me finding more funny pictures of you.”

“Possibly. But I would absolutely love a nice tortellini, and I know exactly where I’d like to get one. Pick me up in an hour?”

“Put on your best flower crown, Angel. But don’t think we’re done with art history.”


End file.
